Відео

In my novel teen in the Spotlight is about a teen teenager who becomes a famous actress and when she gets role in LA, she’s forced to leave everything behind her friends, her dance studio and of course, her cousins best friend who she knows is off-limits. I’m thinking about writing a prologue for it it from Amber who is one of their friends they having one last sleepover with their friends with their squad should I end it with true or dare ?

youtube.com/@alyssamatesic - I am trying to help a critique partner with the opening scenes of her contemporary romance. She has crafted very descriptive imagery and told us a lot about who the two main characters are. But I feel she’s given too much character detail in exposition rather than found ways to reveal the information, whether through dialogue or as exposition interspersed within an introductory scene. And maybe they’ve gone too far in giving too many details about the characters. I love how you’ve explained exposition in terms of setting and world, but what advice can you give when it comes to info dumping about a character’s personality, hang ups, dating history, and other aspects of their background as the way to introduce a character? I get letting the reader know something basic like, ‘Mark never knew his parents because they died in a car accident when he was a toddler.’ But these opening scenes are basically 90% exposition on who these characters are and how they got to this point in the story-over 1600 words on each. I feel like the information tries too hard to compel the reader to empathize with the characters through explaining why rather than showing who they are. Do you have a video about this form of exposition? Any help would be appreciated.

I’m writing an epic fantasy story with 4 povs. I’ve pulled some things from the culture and history of my region, being both an Arab and an Amazigh (north African Berber). The story is about the political events between three tribes at conflict and war for many generations; they fight over land and identity. And of course, there is a magic system (low), and the typical existential threat that comes from the south, the uninhabited desert. It's really exciting to write!

The only thing you need to be a writer is to be literate in a human language. There is no advice that can be given on something so subjective. Just write what you want. Express yourself.

I’m writing an epic fantasy story with 4 povs. I’ve pulled some things from the culture and history of my region, being both an Arab and an Amazigh (north African Berber). The story is about the political events between three tribes at conflict and war for many generations; they fight over land and identity. And of course, there is a magic system (low), and the typical existential threat that comes from the south, the uninhabited desert. It's really exciting to write!

At the end of the day it’s all arbitrary but I understand wanting labels

Hey, Alyssa, found you yesterday in a 3-year-old video, joined chapter-read, and now enjoying and contemplating - and grateful~~

Hey everyone I came across the streamer who is writing his own book and is so wholesome I decided to spent the next few hours marketing his twitch if anyone wants a smile on their face please visit www.twitch.tv/rican_7794

In other words, a protagonist must be proactive, not reactive.

Good advice but I honestly got distracted by how many times she said ultimately…

I just found a wonderful video you made 3 years ago and noted it for your editor's services and I'm now very happy to find this more recent vid!

No offense, but I thought the query s where a little boring!

OMG!!! Sooo many words!! What do you do if your writing a book about toxic plastics that is literally killing people? Or about saving people's life with healthy food?

Something I’m struggling with is realizing I am leaning on dialogue way too hard to give exposition or information in general. If anybody has tips that would be awesome.

I have a title named after a piece of technology that allows people to cross a barrier, setting off an invasion. It's scifi, but it sounds like a Dan Brown title.

I think passive is maybe the wrong word for this. Maybe timid, introverted, fearful of action, etc. but passive protagonists fall into the trap of the plot HAPPENING to them, which removed their ability to act on desires and misbeliefs. If they are acting on a misbelief driving the story forward, that is inherently active, not passive.

I think it's never a good thing to classify your protagonist as a passive character. Everyone is passive in some ways and active in others, just because a character doesn't actively engage in certain behaviors as much as another doesn't mean that he doesn't do, notice or think about something else more actively.

I sent my query letter and sample pages, but within 2 minutes I got an auto response that the agent will be traveling and would be slow to email. He referred me to a junior agent in the agency. I don't know how to go about it. If I query the agent, should I include the referral by her colleague? And would that increase my chance of getting request? Thank you as I await your timely response.

The fact that the most well-known bit of writing advice is insufficient is the reason I do not listen to writing advice. Listening to writing advice is a way to cop out and procrastinate rather than actually swallowing your insecurities and doing the thing. Read. Learn your grammar. (No, you cannot let the computer do grammar for you.) Then, write. That is all.

I like to put a “story inside a story” to show something that is hard to show. One of the characters tells another character a 1 page story about something that happened previously. This mimics real life human communication and avoids tons of telling.

I recently read a book that told me the antagonist was very ruthless and evil, but this was never shown to us in his actions. So when the antagonist had a redemption arc, it just seemed like he was a good guy the whole time but he just had lots of haters. 😂

Thank you for the examples. Very helpful.

Telling: Howie felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and despair, convinced that no one would ever care about him or his well-being. Showing: Gasping, Brad hunkered in the shadows, praying he wouldn't be discovered. His shaking hands clasped his mother's worn scarf to his chest, as the heavy footsteps grew closer.

Show: The darkness covers me like a wall and chockes up my throat. The uniform cuts into my Neck. It's suddenly far too tight. I can't breath. Footsteps come out of the dark. Germans? Ouite unlikely. They must be from the english. My Heart ist pounding against my chest. It wants to escape, but it can't. My life will end now. Will they finish it with a gun? A bayone? Or will they suffocate me in the mud? Tell: But the worst thing is the Moment of weakness. When I'm laying helpless in my bed and can't move while everything is washing over me. Like the dead comrades in the trenches, except their bodys are not trembeling. It wasn't possible to burry all the dead. Everyone had to help take them away and burry them in mass graves with plenty of chlorinated lime for desinfection. When the Artillery fire started again, the lifeless remains of or former comrades were torn from the earth and were hurled through the air like contents of a rag doll. These were laying besides us in the trenches, day after day. Slowly I began to feel like one of them. I lost track of truth and reality.

Thanks for the wonderfully explaining the difference, Alyssa. 😃 Here's an example of my current draft for showing: He tried to speak, but his mouth felt like parchment and he couldn’t bring out a word. When he tried to open his eyes to at least look at her, he felt his eyelids were too thick to open his eyes. For telling: While they walked over to the dragons and the children, the little creature kept chattering to Nejat who began to understand more and more. The more he heard, the more worried he started to get about the little one’s family.

"For over a thousand years, the Jedi Knights were the Guardians of peace and justice in the old republic, before the dark ages, before the empire." -one of the best scenes of tell don't show. This scene in Star Wars A Nee Hope is full of Obi Wan telling us about the glory days of galactic prosperity in the past. We don't get to experience those days however, we only get to hear about them as an idealized state of reality.

It isn't about showing and telling. It's knowing when to use both.

Hey Alyssa, a question for AAA. Do you have any tips for overcoming writers block or writers fatigue. I can write a lot, everyday for a few hours a day and I actually really enjoy it. It's a fun and creative expression, like playing music. But sometimes I do get writers block. The characters don't speak to me and I can't see the story in my mind's eye. Any advice?

I think you've nailed the advice here, Alyssa. As you stated, a *balance* between showing and telling is the key. I recently reread Ira Levin's "Rosemary's Baby" and read for the first time Cormac McCarthy's "Outer Dark" and neither of them has a problem 'telling' when and where necessary. It's something I pay attention to when reading now because the "show don't tell" advice comes up all of the time in videos about writing. I've actually gone back to my most recent manuscript to find areas where the "showing" can be tamed a bit. As you said, 'showing' can bog down the pace (which is what happened to me) with details that don't even matter to the story. Thanks for all the wonderful writing advice and videos; I truly enjoy your content.

Excellent video and advice. Thank you for including the examples to illustrate the idea. Also, you're not single are you? jkjk

Thank you, Alissa for this perspective. You are helping me so much.

Thanks for these examples. Much appreciated ❤️

Showing: "Natalie, her soft voice quivering, quietly said, through fresh tears, "Yes...no, not really.". Telling: The two of them headed out of the secondary control room, back toward the training room where Bast had so brutally died.

All my best comp titles were written by Lord Dunsany and George MacDonald. I just need to con the agent into thinking everything I wrote is an instant immortal classic.

Are there certain scenes where it is almost 100% one way vs the other? In my mind, a battle scene is almost always better showing instead of telling. A conversation could be almost always telling if you are describing how a person is reacting during the conversation. As for your challenge, I would need to go back and do a major rereading for the showing part of it.

Great stuff. When I began writing, so many told me I need to show instead of telling. Took me a bit until I finally grasped it and finding the right balance.

What if we tell what something smells with a more emotional word, like "the stench, scent.

Yes, I want to shout this loud and clear ❤ It bothers me how writers say this advice is wrong because they miss the whole point. Showing helps to convey what you want the reader to perceive and feel.

What about showing and telling? For example, 'John was scared; his hand trembled as he glanced over his shoulder.' This way, readers are directly informed of John's fear (telling) while also experiencing it through his actions (showing).

I’m starting a novel but I can’t decide if my book should take place in current time or the 80s so I would really appreciate it if someone could give me their opinion on what i should do

I think the reluctance among many writers to use adverbs stems from the idea that's it's telling rather than showing, yet a lot of famous writers seem unafraid of them. I'd love to hear your thoughts on adverbs specifically.

With a single look from her the boisterous staff silenced and continued their work with eyes down. Dryness wicked moisture from her mouth, a cold slithered up her spine as muffled sounds that could’ve been words failed to reach her. The biggest thing that clicked for me with show don’t tell is “showing is the break pedal. Telling is the gas pedal, drive accordingly.”

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Not a current work Telling a summer haiku Unsatisfying All cicadas sing Poetry might feel purple Dusk of painted words

Love your videos, but also want to add a couple of minor critiques here: (1) 3:20-26. Replace “John was scared” with “John’s hand trembled as he glanced over his shoulder.” This approach can lead to characters that over manifest their emotions by physical action. E.g. nervous people always drumming their fingers or angry people always furrowing their brow. Most times we tell someone’s emotion by the context and tone of their voice. Just keep that in mind so you don’t over do it, otherwise your characters will be fidgeting messes. (2) 3:50 Replace “She heard the train coming over the tracks” with “The room shook as the low rumble of the train grew nearer, the steam engine hissing as it passed.” 7 times out of 10, the original version is better because it conveys the same information in fewer words. It is rare that the steam engine hissing is a detail that’s important to move the story forward. The 3 times out of 10 that your revised version is better is when we need a break in the action/dialogue so that the reader can catch their breath/take the scene in. So it’s a fine technique for slowing down the pace, but most of the times writers have problems with pacing too slow rather than too quickly so watch out. General comment: A lot of time the answer is neither telling nor showing, but just deleting. Many times the context will be enough to make the reader guess how the character is feeling, etc. and you often only need to show or tell if the reaction is unusual and/or there could be multiple plausible reactions. Again, love your videos and thought this might help!

Here's a serious comment/question... I'm writing a historical non-fiction/fiction based in 1875-1893. But for story reasons, I'm taking some events (real, but otherwise unknown) and fudging a year here or there between real characters. If her man escaped jail in 1873, I want to put it in her (my character) 1875-1883 timeline, having her being part of his motivation to try such a daring escape.... so QUESTION: Should I avoid even mentioning years or specific dates in other areas? If a guy (real, but otherwise unknown) died in 1879, and I make it 1881(in my timeline) for the story's sake, again....don't mention specific dates ie months and years? There WILL be certain timemarks like a World's Fair or other well known disasters of the time so the reader knows and is reminded. The "historical non-fiction" guy in me wants to use specific dates, but the fiction guy doesn't.

This is a great help, especially when to show and when to tell/summarise. Thank you so much for sharing.

Telling is most valid when the character's do something that is repetitive, like discussing something for a long time. No use writing characters saying the same thing in different ways time and again unless someone say something that cause drama.

How do you fold a sundress? CAN you fold a sundress? Seems as challenging as folding a $.10 plastic shopping bag.

I was gonna make a dick joke about telling vs. showing, but I think I'm around a bunch of snobby literary folk here, like an awkward cocktail party.